And Now For Our Second Feature

Review by Emily Trosprel
9th Grade BHHS Senior Entertainment Editor

Lady in the Water

M. Night Shyamalan has a lot riding on the outcome of “Lady in the Water”. He reportedly left Disney (who had produced his previous four films) in a huff after they expressed their dislike of the script, and Shyamalan brought it to Warner Brothers. Now, Disney will be waiting to see if they were right in passing on the film, and Warner Brothers will be waiting to see if they were right in scooping it up. Unfortunately for Shyamalan, a genre that is hard to define coupled with some of the most misleading trailers of the year make box office prospects grim. Fortunately for him however, the movie he has made is a magical tale that will invoke strong feelings (whether good or bad) in all who see it. The plot focuses on apartment building superintendent Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti) who late one night tries to catch what he thinks are troublemakers swimming in the pool after hours. Instead he finds a “Narf” (a sort of sea nymph here played by Bryce Dallas Howard) named Story who is trying to return to her world. Cleveland must work with his tenants to help her and protect her from the creatures that would stop her from ever leaving.

There have been two common complaints against “Lady in the Water”. Number one is that it isn’t scary enough or isn’t enough like a horror movie. Blame bad advertising on the confusion, but this is not a horror movie—the best genre to describe it would be fantasy. The second complaint has been against M. Night Shyamalan for casting himself in a meaty role. Let’s be honest, there won’t be any Oscars coming Shyamalan’s way in the near future, but that’s not to say the performance wasn’t a good one. He’s a better actor then some give him credit for. So now that we’ve targeted the complaints, let’s focus on the good points. One of those is that Paul Giamatti can act to put it simply. While Bryce and the rest of the cast are solid, it’s Giamatti who steals the show, and it’s hard to imagine the movie without him (Kevin Costner was actually considered for the role—now there’s a scary thought). Now, you may go the theater to see “Lady in the Water” and hate it. Many will—the film’s very nature makes it inevitable. However if you’re part of the crowd who falls on the other side of the fence, know that you are in for a beautifully crafted, imaginative, and intelligent treat that will stay with you for a very long time. Three out of four stars for Lady In The Water.

Summer Drive In Double Feature

Ms Emily a recent graduate of the New York Film Academy summer program gives her views on two summer movies. Next up will be Lady in the Water by M. Night Shyamalan

Click

Review by Emily Trosprel 9th Grade BHHS
Senior Entertainment Editor

The fact that it’s an Adam Sandler movie should tell you all you need to know about “Click”—that for all its fleeting moments of real humor, there will be many more moments where you sit and ponder “What was Sandler thinking?” We start with Michael Newman (Adam Sandler) in the overused busy-workaholic-has-no-time-for-his-family scenario. After a meltdown at home, Michael goes out at night to buy a universal remote to help him control the numerous household gadgets, and lo and behold in the “Beyond” section of “Bed, Bath, and Beyond” Morty (Christopher Walken) has just what he’s looking for. Of course as we all know this is no ordinary remote. Michael soon discovers (and continually demonstrates) how the miraculous technology can be used to put his barking dog on mute, hit a kid on the head with a baseball, fast forward through a cold, and punch his boss several times in the face. Oh joy. However then (Oh no!) the remote starts fast-forwarding by itself and Michael begins missing all of his life. Though fear not, for (without giving anything away) all culminates in the single most amateur and undignified ploy a writer can possibly resort to give an audience some finality.

So what was Sandler thinking? Sure the premise is promising enough. In fact in the hands of the right people (here meaning in the hands of different people) it could have been a nice, entertaining sci-fi comedy. However why would Sandler ever settle for that when he has the chance to demonstrate some of his own immature, raunchy so-called humor? Although, the low-brow comedy isn’t actually what makes “Click” so offensive. Nor is it the numerous in-your-face product placements, less then stellar acting, or simply bad aging make-up. No, what truly makes it so detestable is the third act. Here we are, sitting in the theater, waiting through the crude first half for the thing to begin to wrap up in normal sappy Sandler fashion when without warning “Click” shifts tones to that of a shamelessly sincere drama. The words “Adam Sandler” and “heartfelt” do not go together well, and I don’t think I need to learn a life lesson from a movie where bathroom humor on an elementary school level abounds thank you very much. One out of four stars for Click.

You to can be powerful and popular

or at least look that way with Popularity Dialer. Schedule yourself a popularity call (male or female), affirmation call or a return to the office call.

"By providing a vehicle to schedule fake and credible phone calls, the Popularity Dialer allows its users to bypass the original intention of a phone call and exploit and amplify the power of a phone call's residual communication. By using the Popularity Dialer service to make several calls at opportune moments, say at work in front of your co-workers or on a hot date, you too can now communicate the idea that you are a popular, awesome individual."

Nice Guys Can Finish First

Congraulations to local boy Floyd Landis becoming the 3rd American to win one of the most grueling athletic events the Toure de France. He may be from Lancaster but he is no stranger to the Brandywine Heights area for years being one of those guys that snarls Topton summer traffic on Sunday's and Wednesday afternoon.

Have to love any sports results that peeves the French. Not only did another American win but after being beaten by a cancer survivor this year they were beaten by one that is scheduled for hip replacement. the website www.bicycling.com announced that Landis's cycling days "may be numbered," reporting on a degenerative condition called osteonecrosis, or bone death, that affects his right hip. Also called avascular necrosis, the condition is the same one that forced Bo Jackson, the star football and baseball player, to get a hip replacement in 1992.

To add insult to injury not only were they beaten by a crippled American but one that seems to prefer beer over some old French Wine as reported in
Velo News.

Battle On The Ragin Manatawny

A battle between good and evil is brewing deep in Earl Township home of the legendary Tiki Bar. The supervisors want to steal the property and put in a boat ramp under the guise of flood control. After the owner spent over $20,000 to meet all their request the Earl Township supervisors last week announced they were planning on beginning eminent domain action. The place has flooded twice in 17 years and from the looks of the place cause about $1.98 worth of damages.

This has nothing to do with flood control if that was the case a bulldozer for a day could make a nice flood plain on the empty opposite bank. This is about the government taking over private property because some people find the business objectionable. This does effect everyone. For starters it because of the implications that if you don't pay the politicians enough protection money you can lose your livelihood on a whim but they also want to use state funds to complete the project. If the business is located in a known flood zone the owner shouldn't expect the taxpayers to bail him out and the supervisors shouldn't expect others to help them quiet critics of taxpaying businesses.

Swim and Dance Tonight

At the now open Topton Pool. Other scheduled Swim and Dances are 7/27, 8/10 and 8/24. Food stand benefiting the Bullet Mat Club. [EDITED 8/16/2006 to Remove a Confusing Headline.]

Senior Projects

Need a little inspiration to get started here is a list of 5 of the strangest student projects compiled by Tech Blog.

If you notice in the Rubik Cube solving robot the clock says 36 but the description says it was solved in 54 seconds. The clock as all good geek clocks should be is in hexadecimal (base 16). Just mentioning it in case you are not one of the 10 types of people that understands binary.

One Red Paper Clip

Who says you can't still succeed in America starting with nothing. The One Red Paper Clip guy who was trading for a house starting with on paper clip succeded More .

I know he is a Canadian but they are just Americans that talk strange and have funny money.

[EDITED: Links have been corrected.]

Why Nuns Don't Go Senile

11 steps to a better brain using mnemonics, smart food and lifestyle. All these tips can be mixed and matched to improve or at the least hold on to what you have.

The New Gender Divide

Women are not only the majority on college campuses today they are also having higher achievement levels. They are letting going to class and studying interfer with their education. More

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Review by Emily Trosprel 9th Grade BHHS
Senior Entertainment Editor

There shall be great heartbroken crowd if Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest fails live up to it’s predecessor as evidenced by the three packed theaters full of pirate costume wearing, fake sword-bearing, fervent fans at just one midnight showing, but have no fear for this sequel has all the high sea, swashbuckling action and adventure you could ask for and then some. Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is back, and this time around he’s got a debt to pay to the legendary captain of the Flying Dutchman and ruler of the ocean depths, Davey Jones (Bill Nighy, unrecognizable under 50 pounds worth of makeup and CGI). If he doesn’t find a way out, he faces eternal damnation as one of Jones’s barnacled, mutated crew. Meanwhile, Elizabeth Swan (Keira Knightley) and Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) are having legal troubles of their own, and Will is blackmailed into obtaining Jack’s compass for the East India Trading Company. Before long our three heroes are together and pitted against Davey Jones along with his favorite minion Kraken- a gargantuan, tentacled, squid-like sea monster that swallows up ships whole in seconds time. Aargh.

If there is any fault to Dead Man’s Chest it would probably be that it just didn’t quite recapture the charm of the first, but that’s a minor quibble because what could? The sequel does put up a good try though and contains all the elements that made the first so successful. The visual effects were spectacular- that was a given, and of course all locations, costumes, makeup and so forth were the best a 200+ million dollar budget can buy. All of that however is second to one of the most important aspects- the acting- and Depp doesn’t disappoint. Captain Jack is as insane as ever, and for us that’s a good thing. Keira and Orlando are as solid as ever, and Dead Man’s Chest benefits from bringing back nearly all the supporting actors from the original. Concerning the story- it’s intriguing enough once we get to it (a good part of the first 45 minutes or so is spent on a bounty of action scenes occurring on an island that have absolutely nothing to do with the main plot, but are fun all the same) and provide endless opportunities for swordfights of the most creative kind. What more could any self-respecting Pirates fan ask for? Simply put it’s a piece of grand, good old swashbuckling fun that at two and a half hours never drags once, but that’s to be expected- it’s Pirates after all. Three and a half stars out of four..

Three and a half stars out of four. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest

Remember only 72 more days till September 19thj and it is once again Talk Like A Pirate Day

LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE FORGOT

TODAY IS JULY 6th TAKE YOUR WEBMASTER TO LUNCH DAY!!!

Last year some reportette even made fun of this very special day

Don't Give Up HOEP

Push for Simpler Spelling Persists
It's been 100 years since Andrew Carnegie helped create the Simplified Spelling Board to promote a retooling of written English and President Theodore Roosevelt tried to force the government to use simplified spelling in its publications. But advocates aren't giving up.

They even picket the national spelling bee finals, held every year in Washington, costumed as bumble bees and hoisting signs that say "Enuf is enuf but enough is too much" or "I'm thru with through." MORE

Immediate Recount Needed

The state's tourism office in Harrisburg announced the winning slogan, “I break for Shoofly Pie,” on Wednesday. The slogan, one of more than 15 created by the tourism office, was chosen by residents who voted online.

http://www.readingeagle.com/re/news/1538679.asp

Happy Birthday America

Very strange historical day

In 1776 this document was approved in Philadelphia:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. More

Then 50 years later on July 4, 1826 two of the most important founders and 2nd and 3rd President John Adams and Thomas Jefferson both died, soon after settling a long quarrel.

On July 4th 1863 events in Vicksburg, MS and Gettysburg PA effectively put an end to the 2nd American Revolution. and this document.

We, the people of the Confederate States, each State acting in its sovereign and independent character, in order to form a permanent federal government, establish justice, insure domestic tranquillity, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity~invoking the favor and guidance of Almighty God~do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Confederate States of America More

Why Did You Delete My Post

This tune "Why'd You Delete My Post" is one of the daily WootCast but it sums up very nicely some of the various reasons why post sometimes disappear.