For the seniors who are about to start either in a new career or off to college to study for one, remember in any profession there are only two things you really need to know. Everything else is fluff. Knowing those two things well and putting them into practice will spell the difference between succes and failure. Thanks to economist
Glen Whitman for compiling the list.
The Two Things about Accounting:
1. The trial balance must balance.
2. There's a lot of "grey area."
-abdabs
The Two Things about Human Relations:
1. We serve the company's, not the employees', interests.
2. Compliance, compliance, compliance.
-Babylon Sister
The Two Things about Marketing:
1. Know existing customers.
2. Recruit more customers.
-Racehorse
The Two Things about Computer Programming:
1. The only way to idiot proof software is to take away their computers.
2. Simple is better.
-Lee
The Two Things about Graphic Design:
1. Elements of Design: Line, shape, texture, value & color, space
2. Principles of Design: Movement, balance, emphasis, unity
-Dina
The Two Things about Teaching History:
1. A good story is all they'll remember, not the half hour of analysis on either side of it.
2. They think it's about answers, but it's really about questions.
-Jonathan Dresner
The Two Things about Art Criticism:
1. If it isn't novel, critics aren't interested.
2. If it is novel, no one else is interested.
-TheLetterM
The Two Things about English Literature:
1. The text is really about writing.
2. Writing is really about sex.
-Marya
The Two Things about World Conquest:
1. Divide and Conquer.
2. Never invade Russia in the winter.
-Tim Lee
The Two Things about Practicing Law in the Real World:
1. Billable hours.
2. Deep pockets.
-Glen
The Two Things about Litigation:
1) Don't ever admit to having an original thought. Precedent is everything.
2) Principle expressed in the following Q&A:
Q: What's the difference between a federal judge and people like you and me?
A: A federal judge can say, "It is so ordered," and you and I can't.
-Deborah Quest
The Two Things about Biology:
1. Evolution is the process through which genetic structures that are better equipped to reproduce viable copies will tend to proliferate.
2. Except for the Platypus.
-TheLetterM
The Two Things about Neuroscience:
1. Neurons strengthen or weaken signal strength between connected synapses.
2. If you think you've found the part of the brain that controls _________, you're probably wrong.
-TheLetterM
The Two Things about Science:
1. Artifactual data proves nothing.
2. All data is artifactual.
-Eustacia
The Two Things about Medicine:
1. Do no harm.
2. To do any good, you must risk doing harm.
-Dennis
The Two Things about Civil Engineering:
1. Dirt + Water = Mud.
2. You can’t push a rope.
-Todd Grotenhuis
The Two Things about Chemical Engineering:
1. What goes in plus what gets made must equal what comes out plus what gets destroyed.
2. What comes out should be more desirable than what goes in.
-abdabs
The Two Things about Public Relations
1. Perception is reality.
2. Perception is rarely reality.
-pepper
The Two Things about Theatre:
Don't forget your lines.
Don't run into the furniture/set.
-RainCityChick
The Two Things about Dormitory Food:
1. Everything is cold, except what should be.
2. Everything is greasy, including the corn flakes.
-Steverino
The Two Things about Star Trek:
1. Don't beam down in a red shirt.
2. You can always talk evil computers into destroying themselves.
-Tim Lee
The Two Things about Women
1. When complaining, they don’t want your advice, they want your sympathy.
2. Don’t you dare tell them you can sum them up with just Two Things.
-Glen
The Two Things about Parenting:
1. There's no such thing as too much affection
2. It's not so much what you say, as it is what you do
-Shannon Reynolds